Rhys, shop assistant, 19, Leamington 

How did you know about abob? 

My brother actually told me about after he saw me breaking down on a phone call. He asked me if I’d like him to refer me. I said yes and it was the best decision that I’ve ever made. 

What happened first? 

I had a mentor for ten weeks. It went really well. It felt as though he learnt from me as well as the other way round. We got close, we got to know each other more and more. It was great to have a mentor who’d been in the same situation as me.  

What do you mean by the same situation? 

I’d got caught up in relationships that I couldn’t get away from and they were very unhealthy. I had mental health problems before that but that kind of relationship with a partner made it so much worse. I felt trapped and I was 17. It was so painful. And then it happened again. 

What happened at the rites of passage weekend? 

It was very empowering. I let my anger out and discovered the sadness that lay beneath it. There were many stages that were eye-openers for me. I found out that there was so much more to this world than I had imagined. It helped to be able to relate to other men’s stories.  

I cried every day and I don’t cry! I found out that crying makes you feel more like a man not less.  

What did you take away from the weekend? 

I became and am becoming more open-minded. It also led to me feeling proud of myself. 

Tell me something about growing up? 

I had a really good childhood. I was well looked after. But my dad died when I was 16 and that deeply affected me. At the time, I dealt with it quite well, I think. I went to seek out a good friend and receive comfort from him. But later on, I did spiral down.  

And that was part of the process in the rites of passage weekend? 

Yes, I was able to express some of that huge amount of grief. And if I hadn’t found abob, I would have been in a much deeper mental health hole.  

Do you go to the weekly circles? 

Yes, they really help to support me and there’s still much more to learn about myself. 

What does your mum say about the abob effect? 

She says it’s like having her normal Rhys back again. That I’m happy and smiley again. 

How do you see your future around abob? 

I would like to mentor young men when I get to that stage when I can.