Henry, 23, landscape gardener, Eastbourne

How did you know about abob?

I moved into a place where one of the young men was involved with abob, he told me what he’d got out of being a part of the abob community. My key worker said I should give it a try.

What was your first experience of abob?

One of the older men gave me a call and we met up. We went walking or had a cup of coffee. It was the start of a nine-week mentoring course with him. We went through all sorts of specific themes like relationships/family/money etc which were very useful. It was great to do this mentoring course before the rites of passage weekend. I got to know a bit about the work beforehand. Fortunately, it was very easy to talk to Alan because some of the topics were stressful for me. But it helped a lot. I could feel my dark and depressive energy lift. Abob has really helped me to have different perspectives.

How was your rites of passage weekend?

The first night was scary. I felt as though I was in a horror film. I didn’t know what was going on. At first I was lost. But as soon the carpet work started to happen where men get the opportunity to really express what’s going on for them. I started realising what I was feeling for the first time. I was overwhelmed and there was so much support. I totally didn’t feel judged. It brought peace of mind. I felt safe which was incredible.

I’d never really trusted men before. I was always looked over my shoulder – expecting the worst. It was a huge liberation. I learnt to trust men.

Tell us a little about your background?

I grew up with both parents in my life. The choices I made were my bad choices. I ended up stealing from people and being addicted to weed. I was kicked out of school when I was 14. I caused a lot of havoc. My learning skills were very low. I’m dyslexic, am bi-polar and have ADHD but it was a long time before I was diagnosed. My mum had a job in London and I often didn’t see her until later in the evening.

I got involved with weed and then cocaine. The latter really messed with my life. I was a shell of a human being.

What has helped? 

Learning what I’d been pushing down. I’ve figured out what’s going on inside me. I always thought boys didn’t cry. Now I know they do. I’ve got better support now.

Have your relationships with family improved?

Yes. I see my dad frequently these days.

How do you feel about your future and abob? 

I would love to mentor young men.